Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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