i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize