Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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