I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
