Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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