hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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