I'm so fucking centered right now
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
