I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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