break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
