i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
