Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
