she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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