he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
