You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
