I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
