Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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