I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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