dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
