I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize