every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
