i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Randomize
