Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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