She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
