what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
