Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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