I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
