I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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