I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
