i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
