If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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