The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize