he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
