I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize