I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
