I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Let's get the cat blown out
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
