there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
