I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
