there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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