Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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