Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
