some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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