I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
