Those balls look pretty dangerous.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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