she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
