There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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