just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
