Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
