Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
