I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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