I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
