Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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