I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
farters have to be the big spoon...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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