He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize