not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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