We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
