i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
