I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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