i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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