his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
