Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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